When faced with a life-altering decision, how can you know which path to choose?
Should I marry my boyfriend? Leave my job and start the business of my dreams? Have another child? Life is full of momentous decisions that can't be resolved by simple logic or reason. Despite an endless examination of the choices, a clear-cut answer may not come. Fear may get in the way of change, yet there's often the sense that sticking to the status quo won't bring satisfaction or comfort, either.
In moments like these, there are two choices: to stay put and embrace the security of the known or to trust in what lies ahead and take a leap of faith. But what is faith, exactly? Irene Goldenberg, Ed.D., a Los Angeles-based family therapist and professor emeritus in the UCLA Department of Psychiatry and Biobehavioral Science, defines it as "belief in a higher power-something that suggests everything is not under your personal control."
For some, that means trusting in a god, being, or spirit that watches over them. For others, it's the belief in destiny, karma, or self, and the conviction that there is some kind of balance in the universe. Irrespective of how we define faith, its restorative power can bring positive outcomes above and beyond any specific goals we may be striving for. In fact, the American Psychological Association cites numerous studies indicating that faith helps increase coping skills, provides greater resilience to stress, and improves overall life satisfaction.
Another benefit of faith is a deeper understanding of self and personal mission, according to Lisa Nichols, author of No Matter What: 9 Steps to Living the Life You Love. "Sometimes your soul cries out for you to do something radically different from what you're presently doing," she says. Nichols recalls standing at her own emotional precipice just a few years ago. Something kept telling her to leave her six-figure consulting job and create a program that would help troubled teenagers turn their lives around. But as a single mom, she knew that a startup business was a huge risk. She kept saying no to this voice until it got so loud it was keeping her up at night.
Finally, Nichols said yes to the dream. She spent the next three years squirreling away money and creating a business plan, then left her consulting job. "I took a leap of faith," she says. "Then, I worked hard to evict fear and worry from my body. I kept saying yes to myself until I forced my plan into existence." Was the gamble worth it? "Absolutely," says Nichols. A decade later, she is a successful motivational speaker and a New York Times best-selling author.
Nichols' combination of faith and planning is exactly the sort of leap Goldenberg recommends. "Sometimes faith is what you need-it's a quality that can help you through a crisis," she says. "But you need to base decisions on more than faith. In order to make realistic choices you should talk with people you care about and listen to what they have to say." Goldenberg also suggests speaking to people whose situation is close to yours and really hearing the advice they have to give.
Making faith-based decisions can also inspire a renewed sense of creativity and adventure, according to Mallika Chopra, founder of intent.com (and daughter of spiritual guru Deepak Chopra). "Choosing to get off the track you are on and take a leap of faith can help you break out of certain negative patterns," she says. "It invites creativity and opportunity."
Chopra has taken many leaps in her life, such as moving to India when she fell in love with the man she eventually married, and then leaving an MBA program to start mypotential.com. Although that business failed a year after she started it, Chopra never regretted her choice. "I learned to make decisions on a gut level and trust that things will work out in some way," she says. Most of all, Chopra notes, taking such leaps built her confidence in making other bold, faith-based decisions, such as starting her latest website venture. "I've learned to live in the wisdom of uncertainty-to believe that no matter what choices we make, the future holds infinite possibilities," she says.
Considering your own leap of faith? Here's how to move forward with confidence.
Listen to Your Internal Voice When something is urging you to make changes, pay attention-it could be your soul asking you to tune in to your true desires. To better hear that voice, consider taking a meditation class. "It's a great tool for tapping into who you really are and what you truly want," says Mallika Chopra, founder of intent.com, who devotes 20 minutes every afternoon to quiet reflection. "Listening to yourself in silence helps you develop trust in yourself and the world."
Talk to Supportive Family and Friends Ask your most trusted loved ones whether they believe the leap of faith you hope to take is a positive and realistic move. They can help you objectively examine this possible change from all sides.
Make a Plan Consider your final goal and how you can prepare for it: Does it require saving money so you can transition into a lower-paying but more rewarding career? Does it mean finding appropriate child care so you can attend night classes? Does it involve seeking emotional support in therapy so you can decide whether to leave an unfulfilling relationship? "There's a difference between taking a leap of faith and making a reckless decision," says Lisa Nichols, who for three years lived on a third of her salary in order to fund a new career. "You need to create a foundation before you jump."
Create Affirmations Supporting yourself with positive pronouncements can help you stay motivated during your transition. Nichols suggests personalizing declarations such as "Today I feel more powerful and prepared because ?"
Trust Your Instincts Succeed or fail, understand that you made a choice that allowed you to be true to yourself. That in itself has value. "Try not to get too disappointed if things don't work out," advises Chopra. "Trust that there's some reason you did what you did."
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